How Therapy Can Help With Feelings of Isolation
We carry—buried deep within our psyche—perceptions and assumptions about ourselves, others around us, and the world itself. These core beliefs are so ingrained within our identity that we often don’t even recognize them. Yet these core beliefs have a dramatic impact on nearly every aspect of our lives, and especially on our relationships with others.
Core beliefs are so central to our identity that we perceive them as truth. We accept facts, events, and situations that confirm those beliefs, and reject anything that seems to run counter to those core beliefs. So these core beliefs can be difficult to identify and extremely challenging to offer.
And yet, all too often, our core beliefs are negative. They lead to insecurity, lack of self-confidence, and low self-esteem. And they can lead to patterns of behavior that can undermine our careers and our relationships, and ultimately lead to feelings of isolation.
The good news is that it is possible to change our core beliefs. A licensed therapist or counselor can help you identify the negative thought patterns undermining your self-confidence and help you create a new, more positive belief system. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be a particularly effective therapeutic technique for challenging—and changing—core beliefs.
Examples of core beliefs at the root of self-sabotage and isolation
Before offering some examples of negative thought patterns, it’s important to point out that we don’t think these exact thoughts consciously. We rarely use specific words, and often aren’t even aware of these thoughts on a conscious level. Yet identifying some types of negative thought patterns—and their potential effects—can be helpful as we start to identify our own personal core beliefs.
· I’m worthless. I’m a failure. Something is wrong with me. Everything I do is wrong.
This type of negative thought pattern is a sign of low self-esteem and can lead to a fear of intimacy. After all, if you don’t let anyone get to know you, they won’t realize your negative qualities.
· I’m better off alone. People don’t like me. I’m unlovable and no one wants me.
Again, it is easy to see how this type of thinking can lead to isolation. It may be easier to avoid relationships altogether than to experience a negative relationship that further confirms your core beliefs. These types of thought patterns can also lead to unhealthy relationships, such as codependency or even emotional abuse.
· The world is dangerous and everyone is out to get me. I can’t trust anyone. I’m powerless and helpless.
These types of negative thought patterns lead to “safe” decision-making and fear of change. They can cause you to miss opportunities and prevent you from achieving your true potential. But at the same time, they can lead to attempts at controlling everything around you.
· I don’t fit in. I’m different. No one understands me. I have to hide my true personality to be liked.
Again, these negative thought patterns can lead to feelings of extreme isolation and loneliness. And while these are just a few examples, they demonstrate quite effectively how negative belief systems can lead to self-sabotage, loneliness, and isolation.
Core Beliefs and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, is a highly structured counseling technique designed to identify and change core beliefs at the root of self-destructive behaviors.
CBT involves identifying your core belief system and then learning to challenge that system. Once you examine why you might have this core belief, it slowly becomes easier to recognize why your perceptions are reinforcing those negative thought patterns.
Once you begin to challenge your core beliefs, you can begin to reverse them. Begin by considering whether the opposite of what you believe might really be true. Look for signs to confirm these new, positive thought patterns.
Creating—and reinforcing—positive affirmations can also help you affirm a new pattern of thinking.
Changing core beliefs is not easy. It requires hard work and a long-term commitment to change. However, it is possible. With the help of a licensed therapist, it is possible to reformulate your core beliefs, and from there, emerge from isolation to rebuild healthy relationships and your own well-being.
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Collaborative Therapeutic Services (CTS) wants to help. We offer a variety of counselling and therapy services, hours, and service providers with diverse specializations. We offer evening & weekend appointments in office or by TeleHealth conferencing.
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