Change Your Negative Thoughts
Are you always negative? Do you find your inner voice to be a source of constant criticism and self-doubt? Do you find yourself unable to make a positive change in your life?
Unfortunately, excessive negativity and negative self-talk can have a devastating impact on your self-esteem and on your ability to move forward in life.
Everyone has an inner voice and often, we listen to that voice without even realizing. That inner voice is not always a problem. Sometimes, it can be helpful: that inner voice can offer motivation to stay on track toward a goal or offer a warning about a potentially risky or dangerous choice.
Yet persistently negative self-talk is invariably harmful in the long term.
Why is Negative Self-Talk Problematic?
Negative self-talk can often sound like the voice of reason or a realistic appraisal of a particular situation. For example, if you do poorly on a test in school, your inner voice may tell you it’s because you’re just not good at—and never will be good at—that subject.
In fact, that type of negative self-talk is limiting you from believing in yourself and preventing you from reaching your potential. To continue with our example of a poor test grade: when your inner voice tells you that you just aren’t good at that subject, it prevents you from studying harder, seeking extra help, or finding other ways to improve yourself so you that do better on the next test.
And in many cases, that realistic-sounded negative self-talk can quickly lead to catastrophizing and fear-based fantasies with little grounding in reality. Negative self-talk about one poor test grade, for example, can quickly lead to thoughts like “I’ll never get into a good college.” And from there, it’s all too easy to let that kind of negative self-talk become a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Negative self-talk can be extremely damaging to our mental health. Individuals who engage in negative self-talk, even if subconsciously, experience higher levels of stress and are more prone to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety.
And it can lead to an inability to perceive and take advantage of opportunities and to take acceptable risks. It can even lead to difficulty communicating with others and relationship problems.
Can You Change Negative Self-Talk?
Your inner voice may tell you that being negative is just who you are and can’t be changed. Yet that’s just another prime example of how listening to negative self-talk is undermining your ability to make positive changes in your life.
The fact is, negative self-talk is simply a habit. And like any habit, it can be changed.
And as when seeking to change any life-long habit, you might need help. A licensed behavioral therapist can help you learn to recognize negative self-talk, identify and examine it, and then ultimately replace it with more realistic—and more positive—thoughts.
The first step is learning to identify negative self-talk. Remember, that inner critic is so ingrained in the subconscious that we often listen to it without even realizing it. So it’s necessary to be aware of what that inner voice is telling us before we can start to change what it is saying.
Once we identify negative self-talk, we can begin to challenge it. Start by questioning the assumptions on which that negative self-talk is built. Be aware of confirmation-bias, where you only accept the assumptions and perspectives that feed into the negativity, but may not be the whole picture or themselves grounded in reality.
Once you identify negative thought patterns, it becomes easier to stop them. And if stopping those thoughts is too difficult at first, start by moderating them. You may find it easier to change the intensity of your language. The key is interrupting the self-feeding cycle at the root of negative self-talk.
The final step is replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk. When you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, replace that negative sentiment with a statement that is positive and grounded in a more realistic assessment of the situation.
Changing a life-long and unconscious habit of negative self-talk is not easy. It requires hard work and lots and lots of repetition. At first, you might find that negative self-talk becoming louder and harder to ignore or replace. But with the help of a counselor, you can make this positive change in your life.
And don’t let your inner critic tell you otherwise.
NEED HELP?
Collaborative Therapeutic Services (CTS) wants to help. We offer a variety of counselling and therapy services, hours, and service providers with diverse specializations. We offer evening & weekend appointments in office or by TeleHealth conferencing.
Have questions? Contact Us Here or Call 813-951-7346. Located in Tampa, Florida. Ask us about our new NEUROLEASE™ TREATMENT THERAPY - A cutting edge treatment for releasing toxic emotions.