How to Talk to Your Kids About Coronavirus
We are in the midst of a stressful, anxious time, both for adults and for children. Even the youngest children can sense when a parent or loved one is worried or upset, while older children are likely to have heard the scary headlines from friends, social media, and the internet. Yet knowing how to talk to kids about a difficult and scary topic like the spread of COVID-19 (the novel coronavirus) can be really difficult.
Yet it is crucial that you take the time to communicate openly and honestly with your children, in an age-appropriate way, about what’s going on. Younger children may not be able to voice their anxiety, and instead, may act out or withdraw in response to their concerns. For older children and young adults, it’s important that they have access to accurate information and an outlet to express their worries about how this crisis will impact their lives now and into the future.
As you think about how to approach the topic with your children, remember that just one conversation is unlikely to be enough. Especially younger children may seek daily reaffirmation that they are safe and older children with access to the news and social media will likely want to discuss the constantly changing headlines.
Conversations about Coronavirus with Young Children
Young children without access to the news and social media are most likely picking up cues about worry and anxiety from members of the household and may not even have a clear understanding of why everyone is so upset! Therefore, staying calm and reassuring, and making sure you are managing your own anxiety, is paramount. Maintaining a sense of normalcy by establishing and sticking to a routine is critical. For example, be sure to stick to your normal wake-up times and bedtime routines; young children, especially, find routine very comforting.
When talking about coronavirus with younger children, your goal should be to help your children avoid frightening fantasies, so the key is making sure they have the opportunity to ask questions and share their feelings. At the same time, it’s important to avoid prompting them, which can have the opposite effect of suggesting to them things YOU think they should be worried about. Simply let them know that you are there to listen and be ready to answer their questions in an age-appropriate manner. Whenever possible, stick to the basic facts and keep it simple.
Most importantly, remind your children that they are safe and focus on what you and your family are doing to stay healthy.
Talking to School-Aged Kids and Teens about COVID-19
Most school-aged kids and teens are already aware that there’s a crisis, whether because school and activities have been cancelled or postponed, from talking with friends and family, or because they have access to social media and the news. For older children and young adults, especially, ensuring that they have access to accurate information while limiting their exposure to negative news and “worst case scenarios” on social media is especially important.
A great way to start the conversation is to ask them what information they have heard or seen about the coronavirus and how they feel about it. This is a great opportunity to remind kids and teens that not everything they read on the internet is true! Talk about different sources of information and about ways that they can evaluate the information they find on the internet. Point them to reliable sources of information (as appropriate); for example, the website for the Centers for Disease Control offers a wealth of helpful and accurate information.
For school-aged children, as with younger children, it’s important to emphasize the steps that your family can take to stay healthy. Explain honestly why school, sports, birthday parties, and playdates have to be cancelled, why “social distancing” works to curtail the spread of “germs”, and the importance of hand washing and personal hygiene in staying healthy. And again, establishing and sticking to a daily routine will help re-establish a sense of normalcy.
Coronovirus and Your Young Adult
In many cases, the need for “stay-at-home” mandates has fallen hardest on older teens and young adults who have just gotten a first taste of independence by getting their driver’s license or heading off to college for the first time, only to find themselves “stuck at home with Mom and Dad.” They may have heard that young adults aren’t as likely to get sick and therefore resist appropriate social distancing measures.
It’s important to acknowledge their frustration and anger, be patient, and remind them that the situation is really only temporary, even if it doesn’t feel that way. Talk to them about how important their actions are for maintaining the health of everyone around them. Guide their anxiety towards proactive steps they can take to work around the disruption of school, work, and sports. And for older teens and young adults, broader questions about public health, the economy, and public policy are all appropriate, and can potentially make for very interesting dinnertime conversation!
(Virtual) Help is Available: Therapy Services Go Online
Talking to your kids about a tough subject like the spread of disease can be difficult, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed yourself. There are are a variety of resources available on the web to help navigate these difficult conversations. Moreover, many therapists and counselors have begun offering counseling over the phone or by web conference. If you are struggling to talk to your children about this difficult topic, don’t hesitate to ask for help!
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